Between Us

15 Jul

Between us, a phone call,
A little time, a little distance.
Between us, two summers,
A monsoon, a winter.
Between us, an ocean,
An expanse uncrossed.
Between us, my painful love.
Between us,
Your constant indifference.

Snow Malayalam

28 Jun

Soft sounds
In the night.
Snow falls
From leafless branches
Making its way down
Breaking apart,
Getting shattered,
White blanket
On the ground.
Ankles deep in snow
In the mornings.
Eyes that close
At the reflected light.
Coat covered
In snowflakes.
The snow-swords
Hanging from the sides of roofs
Threatening to fall.
Frozen water
On the stone pavements
Quite treacherous.
The ancestors
Who never saw snow,
In the wonder of my eyes.
My mother tongue
That took life
In the lands sans snow
Now silent.
Me, in the expanse of snow
Without words.
My mother tongue,
Sleeping within
Watching a rain-dream.

Hand In Hand

28 Jun

You take my dreams to the mountains for a trek.
Let them soar, I think.
Let them touch the clouds.

We stand in the valley
And look up to the mighty heights.
Won’t you take my hand and lead me ?
In the moonlight, we climb.
Won’t you teach me a new tune
To sing our hearts together tonight ?
We pass rocks, boulders and slippery slopes.
Won’t you soothe my wounds if I slip and fall ?
We listen to the silent night.
We see the dark trees and the glittering stars.
Let us, my love, conquer our tall fears together.
Won’t you kiss a breath into me on the zenith ?

Let us, my love, be each other’s shelter
From the cold winds ravaging the peaks.
Let us wait to watch the first rays of dawn
And sun ourselves to its delights.

Then let us walk back.
Hand in hand.
Through the winding paths.
In the shades of trees.
Over the rocks.
Along the slopes.
Down, down, down and down.
To a place we call,
A home, our own.

My love

28 Jun

Is now yellow like a bath towel
Used again and again.
Is covered in the dust
From the countless strolls
In these city streets
Hand in hand
With different people.
Like a badam tree
Sheds its dusty yellow leaves
Wears a fresh green
And revives for each new lover!

Park Avenue Alpha

28 Jun

The once familiar
The nearly finished
deodorant bottle.
Might still have the scent
For a day or two.
Park Avenue Alpha,
The orange coloured bottle
Having lost its value
Among the newer cosmetics:
Perfumes, Fairness Creams,
Moisturisers, Face Washes.
Park Avenue Alpha
In an ignored corner of the wardrobe
A fine layer of dust
On its grey cap.
Park Avenue Alpha.
Citrus, Oriental, Musky..
So on goes the list of notes.
Whose strong distinct mixed aroma
Brings back to me
Memories from a not-so-distant past,
Sketches in my mind
The face of a person,
Gives life again
To the words that one said:
Once quite affectionate
But reproachful and harsh, later,
Clouds my mind with emotions
Which smells a weak note of love
And a stronger note of hate.

Song of defeat

28 Jun

I am closing my door.
Putting my lights out.
Dear love, do not come again.
Do not call me again.
For, I cannot come with you.
This, a cage.
And myself, a bird trapped.
A birth cord
Still fresh and soaked in blood
Restraining my feet.
My several relations,
The many obligations
Weighing down my wings.
The golden crown
Of the sacred lives
My ancestors led
Upon my head,
Burning and painful.
The skies of my life
Still in my mother’s womb.
I am tired, my dearest,
Fatigued from my battles
To break free from all this
To come to you
To be with you
To sing the song of my life with you.
It is time to accept defeat
And fall back.
It is time to give up
The desires,
The passions
For the warmth of a security
I get from here.
It is time to fold my wings
Close my eyes
Plunge into an act of slumber
On this cold dark floor
And start the decay into a certain death.
Oh!, my dearest,
I have closed my door.
Put my lights out.
Do not come again.
Do not call me again.


28 Jun

It is when I hear a lot of voices within,
When the multitude of contradictions inside start shouting,
Each for itself, without pause,
That I feel an urge to explode.
To have my body ripped apart like a suicide bomber’s.
Then, each fragment of my flesh
Would crawl on themselves
Seeking the skin and flesh
Of the different people I have desired.
Each drop of blood would flow away and vanish,
Seeking the arteries of my myriad relations.
Only the heart would remain,
Confused as to what love to look for
And what comfort to seek.
It is when I find my mind burning with desire,
(Whether love or lust, I still do not know)
That I feel the need of jumping into a raging fire.
Nothing would remain of me, i think.
For I suspect, I am made out desire,
Raw and passionate.
Each such feeling ends in the thought of death.
I do not fear dying.
To me, death is like heaving a sigh of relief.
It is this life that I fear.
This life, which keeps going on
As if it would never end.
It is this life,
Which bites me like a snake at every turn,
Which infests me with the slowest of all poisons,
And which corrodes my spirit bit by bit,
That I fear the most.